Friday, January 30, 2009

I will not rant.

I'm not quite sure how to begin this web log. It's been a long journey up until now...and I'm not even speaking about b.c. *before children. I'm sure the name of the blog gives away what I'm to write about.

So here it goes.

I won't get into the first signs. I won't get into the green our vaccine debate. What I will say is each child/person is different. I'm not a curebie. I'm a mother, a niece, and a cousin of people with autism. My ultimate goal with my children is to make sure that they are happy, well-adjusted individuals and also, to ensure that they lead happy fulfilling lives.

So, shall I begin, from the middle. It makes it all the more mysterious. Wouldn't you agree. I have a smart, funny, ostentatious, and strong-willed, 17mos old little girl. A perfect daughter, everything a mother could hope for...a strong girl..they hold up the world you know. I also have a son. I never could have imagined a more amazing son. At the moment, he's 30 mos, two, for those people that hate the month counting. Yes, he was diagnosed with autism, pdd-nos to be exact, but seriously, does it really matter? Anyhow, he's smart, funny, huggy, and warm. I never knew that having a little boy would well up my heart as it did. I used to be so "punk rock it hurt". I was hardened. I never cried. Life was rough, but I got through it...unscathed, barely. And then this....

autism. And no, it's not like you think.

The funny thing is...I kind of new that something like this would happen to me. It was a 9th sense I suppose *yes..there are actually eight. "Mommy instinct" as many have dubbed it. Whatever it was, I felt like something was different. Not wrong...just different.

Perhaps I was lucky. I never had a notion of what children were like. I guess I was lucky in that way. I assumed that all children needed to be taught, everything, including play. I was the nutty mommy that kept an arsenal of books of what to expect...hell, I even had a list on the wall of milestones that my child was supposed to his every month. With that and what I knew about wasn't hard to figure it out. Unfortunately, it was a little harder for the doctors to figure it out...but like I said "as God as my witness...I will not rant."

I guess we've gotten to touch base. Gotten to know eachother a little better. Perhaps next time we can talk about what's going on in real time. I will try to leave tidbits of info now and again. Links to interesting things. Glimpses of what's going on in our lives.

I will promise you this...I won't fairytale my life. I'll try to "keep it real". I've never put on a facade and I don't intend to start now. I will say this, I don't believe that life could have any better and I don't believe that I could have been blessed with more amazing children.

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